Trying to buy time.

Doesn't work though.

I'd give pretty much anything to be back in Koh Samui with you. With everyone. I'd give all in my possession to know that I could go to a place and stop the seconds. Just to spend that lil bit more time with you. Let's all drop everything. Let's all just go and live on an island and grow corn and be happy. Let's not go our separate ways. Let's just run away for a while.

My farewell will be at Shin's house, if you're coming. It'll be from 8pm onwards. Let me know if you need directions. You know the number.

The bags are packed.

It's no longer weeks...

It's days. And the days are in single digits.

For those who have enquired and have expressed their wish to come to see me off on Tuesday MORNING (just highlighting that fact because for many, that will be a deciding factor) my flight number is SQ217 and it departs at 09:55. I believe there are plans for breakfast at the airport, so if you wish to join us then please feel free. I believe we'll be arriving there at around 07:15 at T1 (or is it T2?). Good lord, I don't even know any more.

And for those who are uninformed because you don't have Facebook, the BBQ (because we couldn't get a last minute chalet) will be at East Coast Park on Saturday. As some are attending the Christina concert, don't expect food because it will be gone. :D As mentioned previously, it's BYOB so just grab a bottle and come on down (:

Give us a ring if you need directions (either me, Shin or Nikki) and I look forward to seeing you.

WoW.. No. Really.

Today I saw a car license plate that started: SFK_____

My immediate thought was Shadowfang Keep. -.- Someone get me my internet connection/network sorted please! I miss playing WoW.

Random musings at 0249 whilst waiting for the Boyfriend to call...

As I'm lying in bed haxing internet from someone nearby waiting for the Darling to call, I think of my departure (now a mere 10 days away) and of friendships forged and forgotten.

Today I was scared. Scared that I mean nothing to nobody and my presence will be sorely missed solely by my puppy -and only because I'm the one who feeds her the extras. Sheep and a few others have tried to counter this by telling me that I DO mean something to them. That I AM special. To have those sort of people, I am blessed. Truly.

Then I think back to all the hypocrites I've met and known. The ones who swear by you and what you can do but ditch you the second you have nothing left to give, much like you would a wet tissue/baby wipe. The Drifters -if I may be so bold as to steal the title from others.

Let's visit Secondary Three in St. Anthony's...

(but before that, there's Year Five in St Joseph's) I've known boys since I was a tot. I remember my infatuation with Gavin Kelly from as far back as I my brain allows me to delve consciously. I remember the heartbreak when I found out that my best friend, Jade Milne had stolen him. I remember the summers with Michael Leighton and how he smashed Gavin's head on the door when he found out I loved Gavin more than him. Then later on... The bitch fight in St Thomas More between Sophie Pitham and myself when she discovered I liked Chris Rush when I wasn't supposed to because she liked him (oh yea, great logic Soph.) The giant girls vs boys gathering when Adam and I confronted each other about me leaving for Singapore. Yes, boys are not new. They have been on the planet a rather long time. If we'd like to get biblical... They've been around longer. Deal with it....

Or not.
Girls' school girls don't discover boys until late Sec 3 or Sec 4, it seems. So when I discover someone I really click with and someone I can relate to on ALL levels... "OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!"

No. It's not allowed. Yes, 3/6 and many others, you ostracised me for being me. For discovering boys before you.

Alas, when you all started squealing over the year books in Sec 4, I'm very glad and proud that I can say I did not join in. I did not have those schoolgirl crushes on those black and white blurred photos and were, at best, at 72dpi.

So what really cracks me up is that now I discover that nearly every single one of you is no better than myself. None of you are what you used to proclaim you were. YOU are the laughing stock. I can sincerely look back and say that at the time, my life was hell... But now... I'm the one who is in a better place.

Good bye.

People seldom actually want to hear about your problems. A lot of people don't even care about YOU. They care about number One. It's human nature. YOU never cared about me. You girls never cared, because if you did, you wouldn't have turned your back.

Yet when I have knowledge, you come back. When I have money to offer, you come back. But will you be there when I leave? No.

So let's take a look at another example. Hello Grace.
"I want to become more involved... I want to get more of a profile..."
I said 'sure' and showed her the way. 'Let me get you involved in Stop Press and Council,' I said. And I did (not council though, they didn't want her in -I know this sounds ridiculously bitchy for those just reading but not knowing anything about me, CMM, council or the life of a media student. Apologies.) I help her through a speech to our Juniors at SAC, try to give her some confidence and next thing I know...

BAM!

"Oh my god, she's such a bitch!"
"I hate her"
"She's so fat"

WTF did I do but help?! Wet tissue obviously dried up.

I hope you end up having to make a big presentation and realise halfway that you're not wearing clothes. No, girl... You're supposed to imagine your AUDIENCE is naked... Not you.

There is, however, some glimmer of hope in the realm of friendship.

In the light of departure and everybody from UWC leaving, I see a great number of people struggle to cope with the idea that they may never see a lot of their friends. Ever. Again.

Respect goes to those who put the effort into making sure their friendship is not one that fades as the last date that you wrote on their Facebook wall disappears. I hope the friendships I'm forging will make it through my new phase of life. I would really like you guys to stick around.

Whether you like me or not...
Whether you hate me or not...
Whether you will miss me or not...
Whether you will think of me or not...
I hope I've made an impression.
I hope I'll never be forgotten -even if you have to say: "Wasn't she the bitch that dissed me on her blog?"

Well at least I haven't forgotten you.

Post ended at 0325 and still no call. I hope you're resting well.

You. It's always been about You.

And I'm not complaining. I like things that way... It makes me happy. It makes me happy to see you happy.

If you don't already know, everything you've done/got caught up in/lost yourself in, I've tried to understand. I've done my best to take an interest in everything. Yet you always seem so eager to throw it away for something else.

"I think if you tried to stop me it would be selfish of you"

Everyone's sacrificing something for what they want... But I keep getting this sneaking suspicion that very soon, you'll 'kthxbai' me like you did before except this time I'll be too far away for you to come kiss and make up.

26 days.

I'm horrifically scared that when this one thing that keeps me in touch with you when you're not by my side is gone, that I'll never hear from you. You say I get priority because you can't reinstall me... But what's the use of being classified that if it makes no difference edgeways?

I want you to play.
I want you to have fun.
I want you to do really well...

But not at the cost of Us.
I'm scared. Aren't you?

HI KEN~!!

Ken, this post is JUST for you. Don't be emo aight? (: I'm dedicating this WHOLE DAMN THING TO YOU!!

Servers are down and there's not a lot to do except surf Facebook, forums and blog. All of which I'm doing now. I'll be uploading the fantabulous pictures of Koh Samui onto Facebook shortly which means I've got a gazillion people to tag o.O Crap, I just realised I've double-uploaded my photos onto iPhoto.

I'm tired... Editing all those pictures is a bit of a pain. Ok Ken, these few pictures are for you, ok? Hope you enjoy them!!